Emotional Health and the Holidays
By Charlotte Brandvig, LCSW-S
The approaching holiday season can bring about a whirlwind of emotions, from excitement, joy, and anticipation to anxiety, stress, loneliness, or sadness. Between our regular responsibilities, family gatherings, financial stressors, travels, and expectations we place on ourselves, this season can sometimes feel more overwhelming than joyful.
As women, we often try to manage it all and care for everyone else. It can be particularly useful to tune in to the “shoulds” we put on ourselves: how we should feel, giving the perfect gifts, decorating we should do, food we should prepare, and where or with whom we should celebrate. We may have to decide which side of the family we will be with and how much traveling we will do. Given all this hustle and bustle, it is normal not to feel joyful all the time.
It can be difficult to balance expectations with the ability to remain present, manage stress, and enjoy the moments of connection with loved ones. Tune into your emotions to be mindful of your own limits and what your body is communicating about stress. Allow yourself the time and space to feel emotions, give yourself a break, or ask for help. Some of us thrive on socializing and entertaining, while others need time alone to recharge. Consider your own needs and plan to make space for this. Setting boundaries can be difficult to do with family and friends. However, it is necessary to protect your own peace by establishing limits and communicating needs.
Some of the limits to consider include how much you can take on, allowing yourself to slow down when you can, and asking others to assist with tasks. Plan ahead, set financial limits and stick to them, and delegate tasks to others so that they can also contribute. Evaluate priorities to determine things you can let go of. Sometimes we do things because “that’s the way we always do it,” when it may not serve us anymore. Are we doing them because we believe we “should” or because they truly matter to us? Our thoughts hold power, and it makes a substantial difference whether we believe we “have to,” or that we “get to.” This mindset can help us focus on gratitude.
Holidays, anniversaries, and family gatherings can also highlight loss. Loss comes in many forms and can include grief over a loved one, adjustment to a move, or living far away from loved ones, and job loss. It is normal to feel sadness and a wide range of emotions, including loneliness, even amongst celebrations with family and friends. Allow the space for your emotions and consider creating new traditions or ways to honor those you miss. Memorials, sharing memories with others, or volunteering in their honor can be healing. You are not alone in feeling this way, and it can be helpful to reach out to others or to join a support group.
If you’re in recovery or trying to make healthy choices, plan for gatherings where alcohol or other triggers may be present. Bring a support person or have an exit plan if needed.
Remember, holidays are not about perfection; they are about connection, gratitude, and presence. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel, and practice compassion toward others and for yourself. Make a commitment to yourself to take care of you this season! Ask yourself what truly brings meaning to the holidays. Prioritize those things and let go of or delegate others. Take small steps toward balance, setting healthy boundaries and allowing for moments of stillness and quiet.
Charlotte Brandvig, Director of Clinical Services and Program Manager for Mission Resiliency, is a trauma therapist with over a decade of experience serving active-duty service members, veterans, first responders, and military families. A certified Prolonged Exposure Therapist and Grief Educator with advanced training in multiple evidence-based modalities, she brings both professional expertise and personal insight as a lifelong member of a military family to her work supporting those impacted by trauma.
Learn more about Laurel Ridge at laurelridgetc.com.
