By Michelli Ramon
Girlhood is a pilgrimage. For some, cut too short. For others, altogether stolen. For most, by now, it has faded under the weight and demands of adolescence or adulthood. I, however, refuse to relent. A specialist in women’s mental health, I consider myself a broker of the wide-eyed wonder and magic that made us women. It is my belief that the mysteries and excitements of girlhood are alive and available. Patiently waiting to be remembered and reclaimed. The search for the perfect song, a phone call to dedicate it, the kind of excitement that can only come from hearing it played over the radio. This is the power of girlhood that once-upon-a-time made us feel infinite.
The way back is mostly simple: One part intention, two parts imagination, and one heaping spoonful of the willingness to let yourself feel little again. We resist that last part because it requires vulnerability, and vulnerability is a girl power that has been weaponized by others. Sometimes unintentionally, by people who called us “too sensitive.” All too often, on purpose, by monsters who would have us question our worth.
It’s this same type of shaming that is shrinking girlhood year over year. The world seems to want girls to grow up faster and faster. I suspect it’s because girlhood permits too much dreaming, and girls who dream are dangerous. Girl dreams have a way of finding one another in the cosmos, where they lock arms and multiply into empires, artwork, and inventions that closely resemble witchcraft.
I say, do it anyway. Maybe it scares some people. Or maybe it starts a revolution. We could wait until the demands of the world crush us and regression is our only hope for sanity. Or we could start now, inviting girlhood back in with something as trivial as blowing bubbles. Or buying a diary with a lock and a fancy pen. Or, my personal favorite, standing at the stove to roast a marshmallow. To the girl that still lives inside of you, this is liberation.
I love a good list. Lists are a bridge over muddy water; they make the madness of our dreams manageable and set our intentions. Set yours with one of these twenty-five ways to reclaim your girlhood:
- Blow some bubbles.
- Go for a walk with your best friend.
- Run through the rain.
- Write in a diary.
- Walk barefoot in the grass.
- Climb a tree.
- Skip.
- Go to the library and check out a book.
- Cuddle up under a blanket on the couch.
- Make a wish on a dandelion.
- Get some glitter and leave sprinkles of it everywhere you go.
- Pet a stray cat.
- Buy a brand-new box of crayons and color.
- Stand in the sun.
- Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your childhood.
- Eat a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup.
- Build a fire and roast marshmallows.
- Challenge someone to a foot race.
- Plan a sleepover with friends.
- Bury your hands in the sand.
- Twirl.
- Stick your tongue out at a baby.
- Hold hands with someone you love.
- Roll your car windows down.
- Buy a lipgloss that tastes like strawberry.
Reclaiming your girlhood is a way to heal, and anything that heals you, heals me. And healing together is a revolution of joy and power, combined.
Michelli Ramon is a writer, therapist, and dedicated girl’s girl. She is the author of A Book for Girls and the owner of Bird & Branch, a quirky little therapy practice in the heart of San Antonio.